Random Act of Kindness #83972

I don't sit in the emergency exit on airplanes.

I should, because that window seat has the most legroom, barring there's no seat in front. But I push aside my selfish tendencies for the rest of the 180 passengers on the plane, and take another window seat.

Why is this a random act of kindness?

Because I sleep on flights. I sleep on a flight like a bear hibernates. Does Southwest still serve peanuts? No clue. Haven't gotten a bag in years. For all I know drinks aren't allowed. I'm talking I zonk out before 3/4 of the passengers are even on the plane, and I don't wake up till the plane taxis in.

I sleep through all weather announcements.
I sleep through the safety pow-wow (although I have stayed awake long enough on one flight to know that you have to manually inflate your own life vest.)
I sleep through the raising and lowering of landing gear.

Its the last one that scares me the most. Who the fuck sleeps through landing gear? Apparently me.

So Sunday night I get on the plane and immediately start sleeping. I wake up, and boy am I surprised that there is someone in the middle seat. I look around and its a completely packed flight. Then I look out the window, and we're on the runway. I'm thinking, 'shit-slept through the whole flight AGAIN.' I take off my seatbelt, and the lady next to me is looking at me weirdly. Oh. Seems we never took off. We're just camped out on the LAS runway. Hee hee.

I go back to sleep.

Wake up.
Look out the window.
Still see runway.
Turn to the lady and say, 'humm...we're still in Vegas?' 'Nope. Now we're in Los Angeles.'

High Five

My weekend in Vegas was nothing short of AWESOME!! First and foremost, I placed at a poker tournament!!! Granted, the buy in was only $25, but there were 4 tables and I made it to the final table!!
For the majority of the hands, I didn't realize I won until the dealer pushed the chips in front of me.
For the majority of the hands, I was scared shitless.
For the majority of the hands, I was a poser. Every once in a while when I get the poker itch, I watch one of the WSOP tourneys on tv. There's always a guy or two that wears the hoodie, the shades, and the headphones. This time, I was that guy, sans shades. On the one hand, it was working because duh-I was winning hands. On the other hand, it wasn't working because I didn't know I was winning hands. Once, the dealer even said to me, 'Honey-you need to take that shit out of your ear and pay attention.' Yeah. Brutal.

BUT I PLACED!!!!!

Annie Duke be afraid. Be very afraid. I have no strategy. I'm basically comedy for the rest of the table.
One guy was trying to stare me down. Trying to get in my head. Let me tell you that's a bad idea. It's a waste of time. I'm a newbie at poker. I don't know enough to think about what hands can be made, and what cards the other players have. No. I'm not that advanced. What was I thinking about the whole time? Dinner. What a waste to try to read my mind.

I also saw Cirque Du Soleil's Love show. Which was the bomb. I can't say enough about how truly awesome it is, except that you HAVE to see it. My excitement during the show was equivalent to my excitement at Disneyland. It was THAT good.

I lost money at craps. But let's not speak of that since I did lose money, and I don't like focusin' on the negative.

That's Sampson. He's one of the coolest dogs around. I want a dog. Like him, but not nearly as hyper.
I'm off to Vegas. Wish me luck! B school apps are expensive and I sure as shit could use some money.

J-Unit visited me. With her by my side, I blew money like there was no tomorrow. I bought a wool coat. A WOOL COAT. I work and spend the majority of my time in Santa Monica. SANTA MONICA where its in the 70s in November. When the fuck am I going to get the opportunity to wear a WOOL COAT?

That's not the worst of it. I actually bought two. I know, I know. I haven't stumbled on a day to wear one of them, I'm not so sure both are going to be used. I have walked around my bedroom with them on though. But I don't think that counts for anything.

So imagine my surprise when we went to the BMW dealership to kill time beefore her flight and I didn't walk out with a new car. I know...shocking.
We saw this beautiful, absolutely gorgeous 5 series BMW sitting on the lot. Supposedly the owner totally went to town and got every damn option available. The only thing left to do was put an M5 engine in it. His company shipped him overseas, and the car couldn't tag along, so there it was on the lot. For 10k under what he should have paid. GORGEOUS. Too bad I wasn't in the market for a sedan.

Too bad I didn't have the nearly 60k to spend on a car. So I do the next best thing. Tell everyone I know about it hoping that someone will bite.

And someone does! One of my coworkers.

Legalmisfit: OMG it was specatular! It had everything on it-its just one step below an M5. You've got to see it! Its silver, only has 500 miles on it, and is going for 57 and change.
KT: I'll swing by this weekend and see if its still on the lot and take a look at it.
Legalmisfit: I get a ride in it if you get it!!!! I'll even call the dealership right now to see if its still there.

I call the dealership. The guy tells me there is no silver 5 series BMW on the lot, and there hasn't been one on the lot for a while. I say, 'Hell no-I was just there a few days ago and it was on the lot. Maybe it sold.' To which he replied, 'No-I'm looking on the computer and a silver one hasn't been sold within the past week.' I'll skip all the minor details, but basically, after 5 minutes of a somewhat heated argument, he tells me that the car he thinks I'm talking about is actually white. And going for 59k. The 2k part I don't give a shit about. But seriously, how do I mix up silver and white? I chalk it up to the fact that it had just finished raining and the whole car was littered with raindrops. Made the car look silver when it was white. This is nothing short of an egregious mistake, so I txt J-Unit.

Legalmisfit: Dude-that 5 Series was silver, right?
J-Unit: Ummm...no. I think it was black.

This makes the whole silver-white debacle look petty, right? So I had to go back and tell my coworker, KT, that no, it isn't silver. No, it isn't white. It's black. He replied with something I'm not going to repeat but along the lines of feeding him misinformation and being blind.

Hummph.

Oh-by the way, I look hot in my wool coats. Well, as hot as I can possibly look seeing as how the important parts are completely covered.

You Stupid Girl

I think your idiocracy is rivaled only by your laziness.