GOING BANANAS IN B SCHOOL


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I Spy

Last night I had dinner w/ H and L from my old job. I left that place after oh...6 months. My job description: watching paint dry. Only H has been a trooper and has hung in there for over a year.
So we met up at Cafe Brasil, which is a hole-in-the-wall Brazilian restaurant. The food is awesome. And Chris Tucker was there! He looks a lot bigger in person. By bigger, I mean buff. Maybe its just his voice, but whenever I see him in movies (which is just...Rush Hour), he seems scrawny. Not in real life! But this was uber exciting. My two younger cousins can't believe that I worked in Beverly Hills for 6 months and didn't see Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan and the gaggle of paparazzi that hover inches away. They weren't impressed with me seeing Larry King or Jamie Lee Curtis. Oh well-you can't win 'em all.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Vegas Baby! Vegas!!


I told myself that as a goal, I'm going to get my passport stamped every year. So where's the first place I go after vocalizing my new goal??? Vegas. Yeah...

But this was my annual company party. And boy, can my co-workers party. Big time. They go all out.
The top pic is a shot of the strip from the club Mix, which is the 64th floor of THEhotel in Mandalay Bay. My company had tables set up with all you can drink alcohol. This is actually from my camera. That's how much the view ROCKED. Sadly, I couldn't hang with the drinking. Because...




Before Mix, we had dinner and drinks at Border Grill. And when I say drinks I mean drinks with a capital S. I started off with a margarita.


Didn't care much for that drink, and since the alcohol was free, I got a Grey Goose Cran. Uhhhh...yummmy. I followed that with a shot of Petron. And then another shot of Petron.

Shortly afterwards two lemon drops. Those sneaky bastards. I was good. For about ten mins. Things went sour fast. REAL FAST. I had to high tail it up to the hotel room and make nice with...well...you know.

Although Border Grill is inside Mandalay Bay, its quite the hike from the hotel elevators to the restaurant. Like a 5 mile hike. I swear months had passed by the time I made it up to the room. I swear I spent no more than 5 minutes up there, but when I made it back down to Border Grill, there was an APB out on me. I walked back to my table, sat down, and got the stink eye from the hostess. 'YOU!' He glared at me. 'YOU!!! We were looking all over for you!!!' I think I really scared the shit outta the guy. Poor guy. Had the whole hotel looking for me. I guess its not such a hot idea to down 4 shots in 25 minutes. Kinda fucks with your brain. Guess that's also why the hostess let me walk out with a huge bottle of flat water.

I had to take a nap after dinner.

One hour later, when my mind unfucked itself, it was off to Mix.


There's another pic but I don't think I'm not allowed to post it. Something about scandal or whatnot...well...you know...what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

For best results, use the right fingers

I've never taken a bowling before. How hard can it be? Swing your arm back, then swing it forward and let go of the ball. That was my strategy. These were the results. ('L' is Leese-one of my coworkers)


A whopping 54!!! One of my coworkers so eloquently put it, "Wow. Its actually kind of hard to score that low..." It IS hard to gutter 4 consecutive times!!
I'm going to chalk up game 1 to me not bowling for roughly 3 years. This was the Game 2 score. Much better!

81!! And I started off with a spare! Wheee! Here's the thing about the way I bowl-its slow. I'm talking molasses slow. Paint drying slow. So slow that you can put a load of laundry in the washing machine, and then hang dry it slow. The lane to my right was occupied by two kids, I'm talking middle school-high school age. Bowling etiquette dictates that one person bowls at a time. So I'm up at the same time one of the guys is up, and he nods in my direction to let me go first. I bowl. Then he bowls. His pins realign and he's about to finish out the frame. MY BALL IS STILL ROLLING. WTF. This is why I suck at bowling. The ball all but stops right in front of the pins.

Speed wasn't my only problem.

Nor was it my biggest.

My other coworker joins us. He is Mr. I-Used-To-Bowl-In-A-League. Oh it shows in the score. But...after watching him bowl his first frame, a lightbulb turns on. I've been bowling using my index and middle finger! This is probably why every time I bowl I've broken those fingernails. And subsequently, why I think the 10 lb ball is way too heavy. So once I started bowling with the correct fingers (my form was all fucked up and will continue to stay that way), my score improved yet again!!

So close yet so far away from a 100.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Lifestyle of the Poor and not so Famous

Television has never been a big part of my life. I didn't grow up with cable, so back in high school, MTV was like Santa Claus-I'm sure he existed, just never saw him. I didn't have cable throughout the three tortuous years AKA law school. That wasn't so bad. What was bad was that I didn't even get regular tv programming except for one channel. NBC. Needless to say, I watched A LOT of Law and Order. And the Olympics. OMG I just about watched every damn event (yes, even underwater basket weaving).

Because of this, I've never felt the need to splurge on a tv. Or an entertainment setup for that matter. I'd rather read a book. Which is why my tv setup looks like this:



You can see this from the submarine window of the apartment. Talk about theft deterrent system and TV in one. Oh-and the bottom tv doesn't work. It's merely a tv stand for the top TV.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Not going for incognito eh?

When I'm doing my thing on the can, I like to read. And judging by the fact that other people have books and magazines in their bathrooms, its a common thing. Understandable. Here's what I don't understand. Why do people take magazines and papers with them to the public restroom? You might as well have flashing lights around you and bang on a gong announcing that you're going to be letting out a stink bomb. Why why why? When you stink up a restroom in public, you're suppose to blame shift, and make like someone else let loose. Don't roll up a packet of papers and freely wave it around! This mainly goes towards men. Women can be discreet by carrying a purse in. But guys??? Come on.

Saturday, July 7, 2007


Go ahead. Try to find a baby cuter than me.