Isn't bowling like golf?

Sunday afternoon was the annual Bowling for Wishes at Pinz. I've started volunteering for Make-A-Wish, and its one of the best decisions I've made. I was put in charge of manning the check-in table along with 4 other volunteers. During my break, I went to bowl a frame. Lane 1 was set aside for all Make-A-Wish volunteers. Granted, I haven't bowled in years, but I didn't think I would have sucked as much as I did.

First time up-I gutter balled it 2 feet down the alley. The second time? I hit one pin! The back left corner! Which, of course, is one better than gutter balling it a second time. Sadly though, the toddler next to me hit two pins on his first try. I got schooled.

Friendship for Sale: Criticism Included

This is Jason Anderson. I'm sure 99.9% of America has heard of him. Has heard him singing. Has seen him juggling. Wished that he had more common sense than he's displayed recently.

So he sucks. At singing. At juggling. At trying to do both simultaneously. For some reason his friends and family can't muster up the courage to tell him that he's doing nothing for himself by auditioning on American Idol.

Million dollar ideas are constantly percolating in my feeble brain. Or, more aptly put, ideas are constantly percolating in my brain that I hope will make me a million dollars. You can buy my friendship. I haven't figured out the cost structure or pricing plan-that'll come later. But I'll be the friend that points out when you have food stuck in between your teeth, when your skirt is nicely tucked into your undies in the back for all the world to see, and when you suck at singing so you don't humiliate yourself in front of millions of people.

What more can you ask for?

Secret to My Success

So people have this irrational notion that because I passed the California Bar, I'm somehow smart. There's a fallacy with that thinking. Namely-it just isn't true. No, I didn't spend countless hours studying. No, I don't know law, and if you get stopped by the police and thrown in jail, I will be just as lost as you. But I will tell you what I did, and whether it helped me pass the Bar or not, its up to you to decide. Here we go, in no particular order:

(1) prayed (to a few higher beings-I was trying to cover my bases)
(2) drank Pedialyte each morning of the Bar (for the electrolytes, not the runs)
(3) watched Wheel of Fortune each night of the Bar
(4) watched Clifford the Big Red Dog each morning of the Bar

I would love to say that I studied my ass off and was well prepared. But that would be flat out lying. Passing the bar is purely luck. It depends heavily on what food you ate the night before, what god you prayed to, what subject you studied last, whether or not your brain decides to function...I can go on ad nauseam. If there was a Real Property essay on there, would I have passed? No. Same goes for Civil Procedure (I still don't know what that is), Evidence, and Remedies. Its actually quite amazing California decided to pass me. I barely wrote a thing.

So all in all, there is no secret to passing the Bar. Its as simple and complicated as that.

I love Jack Bauer

So here is a guy who spent the past 20 months being mercilessly tortured in a Chinese prison. The President of the United States decidesto leverage the US's power to free him-to turn him over to terrorists inside the US in exchange for a different terrorist. To say the least, I'm sure this is very stressful for Jack. On top of it all, Fayad has now turned to torturing him in vengeance for his brother's death. Miracle of all miracles, Jack escapes. So let's recap:

(1) 20 months in a Chinese prison tortured everyday
(2) set free, only to find that he's being turned over for another group to kill him
(2) target practice for multiple terrorist groups

And what's the first thing he does when he escapes? Puts coordinates into a high tech phone to find an exact location to save someone. Unbelievable. I've had my new phone (Motorola KRZR) for over a month and I can't even figure out how to use 1/10th of its features.

Takes A Licking...Keeps on Ticking

Man, I thought the email from Dad was harsh. This is the email I get from Brother this morning,

So here is my email for today. What special dinner did u make last night. U know, I am not gonna go to LA until u learn to cook something good cuz I can cook crap here for myself. No need to fly 3000 miles to eat crap.

Brother

Does anyone want to adopt me?
I feel like I need to cure cancer or save Africa from AIDS before I'll get any kudos from any family member. Just for the record, the only reason I don't have an email from Mommy up here is because she's not hip to the workings of the internet just yet, so emailing is a process that, with her, is slower than snail mail.

Unconditional Love

I sent my dad the picture on my last post of the pan fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and veggies. This is a milestone in my life. I've been living by myself (or, not with my parents) for 7 years. I'm on year 8. I've cooked maybe 5 meals. 3 of them happened to be this week. So needless to say, the fact that I'm cooking is just astounding (my roomie is still alive and kicking, which earns me brownie points). Anyway, I sent the pic in an email to my dad to show him that I'm finally growing up (or that was the point of the email anyway). This is his response,

Legalmisfit,

I have been cooking for you for so long. May be it is time for you to cook a full dinner for me next time when you come home. I will settle for just mash potatoes, chicken, and some vegetable.

Dad

HUH??? I was expecting an email praising me on my accomplishment and how yummy the food looks.

Nope.

This is monumentous! Three short years ago I couldn't even follow Shake-n-Bake instructions. Learning how to cook is nowhere on the list entitled, 'Things That Are Expected Of You Because You're Asian.' (some items include: graduating high school, graduating college, graduating grad school).

Now what?

Oh-here's a pic of Roomie with last night's dinner: Blackened Chicken Breast and Frozen Veggies.
(at least she looks happy that I'm cooking)

1 Day Down, 364 More to Go

I went to the gym AND cooked a meal yesterday. It wasn't a wimpy workout at the gym either. I was about to leave when a Bon Jovi interview came on (I love Bon Jovi), so I stayed on the Stairmaster for 20 more minutes. The interview was a full hour, but let's face it-as hot as I think he is, I won't last an extra 15 minutes on the Stairmaster.

I cooked some sort of panfried chicken, and made mashed potatoes from scratch!

I also threw in some veggies, but that's unimpressive since they were frozen and I think I overcooked them anyway. Doesn't my chicken look good? Or at least halfway decent? Somewhat edible??? I was supposed to make fish. That's what the recipe called for anyway. It wasn't until after I mixed the batter together that I realized the fish was still in the freezer (SMOOTH), but there was thawed chicken. So chicken it was. I think I under-seasoned the chicken (what can I say? Chicken is denser and bigger than fish), and over-seasoned the mashed potatoes. I sent an email to my roomie to make sure she's still alive (if she doesn't respond in the next hour, I'm going to spazz). Ok...her 'Out of Office AutoReply' sent me back a message, but that's not the same thing...

Here's further evidence that I'm turning over a new leaf...while watching The Colbert Report, I flipped through recipe books so I can cook Tilapia tonight. OMG-I'm being domesticated (in the learning-how-to-cook way, not in the getting-potty-trained way).

I'll mention New Years Eve party if and when I see the pics of Nico and I floating around randomly in cyberspace.

I've taken to reading at least 30 minutes everyday to broaden my horizons. I'm also trying to stop limiting myself to a particular genre. In the process, I've succeeded in scaring the shit out of myself. Currently I'm reading Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. Its about the history and the principles surrounding Mormonism. Its a fascinating religion, both corrupt and captivating. So last night I read a few chapters before going to bed. BAD IDEA. HORRIBLE IDEA. I had a nightmare that I was forced into a plural marriage, and the only thing I could say was, 'I'm Asian! I'm Asian! I'm Asian!' That was my staggering defense to getting hitched to a 65 year old man. Thank goodness I'm so educated.